t w e n t y e v e r y t h i n g

Broken umbrellas

This rain! It is insane. It makes me rather silly for wearing stillettos and a skirt to work today. A skirt that, while I was running errands at lunchtime, tried repeatedly to blow up and give the passing cars a show. Stupid skirt.

In other news, this, this makes me laugh. Really loudly.

Ok, so I haven't been so happy with my employment situation as of late. In short, I have been BORED out of my mind. This means that I have spent far too much time reading blogs, writing blogs and updating my Myspace/Facebook profile. It's not that I have been avoiding work, there just hasn't been any to do. So when Woman Boss called me into an office earlier to hand me the above certificate and the check for $50 that accompanied it, I had to resist the urge to laugh in her face. Apparently, my dedicated blog reading and writing has made me the team's "Most Valuable Player." Are you serious? Yesterday, I even managed to listen to a few hours of my book on tape. Today I cleaned out my keyboard with can of pressurized air. Tuesday? I am planning to check my voicemail and put my pens away.

I guess it's a good thing that both Woman and Man Boss don't find me as useless as I find myself to be.

In approximately one hour and 17 minutes, I will be leaving the office for one of the extremely few long weekends that employment at the WhizBang provides. And where am I going? Happy Hour!

Runny eggs.

This morning is one of the reasons why I am unsure as to whether I will ever be able to move back to Connecticut. Or at least, unsure that I will be able to do so working anywhere within a 15 mile radius of my house. Unless, of course, I work for Pfizer. But putting that aside...

I spent the morning at one of the local Chambers of Commerces' breakfast events. And I am well aware that what I am going to say is going to sound snobbish. Because it is. But really, oh my god.

My work here at the WhizBang has spoiled me. Not in the way of having a gorgeous office or updated technology (my cube doesn't even have walls!), but rather, I am used to the best, at least when it comes to event venues, food, etc. This morning's breakfast was at the Holiday Inn and Suites. To pull a Seinfeld, not that there is anything wrong with that - it's just something that I am not used to. A whopping three months after my college graduation I found myself hosting events at the Ritz-Carlton, going to lunch at the Four Seasons and mingling with the creme de la creme of Washington business. I mean last week I was at a billionaire's home.  I'm not saying that I belong in these places or fit in well extraordinarily well or anything, but they are what I have gotten used to. Well, nearly two years have passed since I was a poor starving college student and let's just say that I have gotten accustomed to the silver, the eggs benedict, the "It will be my pleasure madame" and oh yeah, the valet parking. The Whizbang has ruined me - it seems like there is no going back.

This morning's event celebrated philanthropy and community investment in one of the towns right outside the District. Man Boss keynoted the event (hence why I pulled myself out of bed in the wee hours of the morning in order to be there at 7:30 a.m.). I couldn't speak more highly about the purpose that brought everyone out to the HI&S - I've always been extremely dedicated to volunteer work. It's wonderful to see that these companies are giving back. But in the end, it's just, well, so small town. And I regret that I have become a DC snob.

Every time I make the trek back up to small town CT, I contemplate moving back. I know that I will someday - when the timing is right - after I'm a bit more established professionally and have gained my master's. Leaving Yale out of the equation, the educational opportunities are a bit sparse in the motherland. But yet,  I love the small town life of being able to drive anywhere in town in ten minutes or less, being a mere mile or two from the ocean and knowing your neighbors and people you see at the grocery store. The problem is that I don't feel challenged or fulfilled by the professional environment there. I really feel that I need to do work that is making a larger impact. I respect the fact that the people working in my small town are helping to make it run and sustain it. I just don't see myself fitting in well in that environment. And so, with that, I fear that I will always be a commuter.

I like living in the calm peacefulness of small towns or suburbs but need to work in a big city. I guess I will always spend hours of my day in a car and put tens of thousands of miles on my car each year. It's kind of a harsh realization - one that I wish wasn't the case.  But I guess it will allow me the best of both worlds. 

Mid-week Musings

I am on a major asparagus kick right now. I might have had it three out of the last four nights this week. I know, I know. It will cause my pee to smell. But you know what, I don't care, it's yummy and I'm hooked. And on that same note, my pee has never really been that fresh smelling anyway.

On a less disgusting note, I know I've neglected the blog lately. I'm still trying to recover from the hell that has been my last few months at the WhizBang and finish up all of my event stuff. My replacement starts the day after Memorial Day weekend and so I'm cleaning up my desk, organizing files and trying to decipher exactly what my new job will be. I know it's crazy that I accepted a position that doesn't have a description, title or salary associated with it yet. Seems kind of backwards. If anything, it will get me through the summer and all of my vacation time that I have planned.

I get to spend a good portion of the day tomorrow at a very very wealthy and influential woman's home at a luncheon for some other very wealthy and influential women. This home belongs to a co-founder of a major music network that she sold for multiple billions of dollars to Viacom a few years back. She donates millions of dollars each month to charities. I can't imagine what her home will be like. So exciting. The most interesting and entertaining part of the affair is that we are packing these wealthy and influential women onto a bus and out to The Plains, Va. It's literally a field trip - we even have a checklist of who is supposed to be riding the bus. We didn't require permission slips but I am going to encourage Woman Boss to start a rousing round of "The Wheels on the Bus." I am being spared the horror of riding the bus as I have a tendency to get a bit bus-sick (as some of you know all-too-well). Oh, and yet another highlight of the luncheon? They are serving cocktails. Yippee.

I really have nothing entertaining to say so I will spare you the blabbing.

No Philly. At least for now.

Seems like two people who already hold the equivalent position in their markets have expressed interest in the position so I am at the bottom of the totem pole. Oh well, so much for a one-bedroom apartment for $600 a month and a short, traffic-free commute. It was too good to be true or so it seems.

In other news, now that my event insanity has subsided, I'm undergoing a bit of a total life make-over. I'm hitting the gym daily, eating right and getting my financial situation and spending habits under control. Or at least, that is all my intention. So any encouragement, reinforcement or enforcement is welcome and appreciated.

So my replacement starts on May 30th. Words cannot express the happiness elation that I am currently feeling. Couple that with the fact that they just upgraded my computer to 768 MB ram from the pathetic 256 that it previously had, the two-hour finale of Grey's Anatomy is this evening and that there is beacoup de vino in my near future, and I might be the happiest girl in all the land.

As of May 30th, I will be the new marketing and public relations manager for the WhizBang. There will be a new event coordinator to take over all the things that cause me so much distress. It might have taken them nearly four months since I really started pressing the issue to actually come through, but I'm proud that my pestering and perseverence has paid off. Oh yeah,  I might have forgotten to mention that I am also applying for a job within my company that just so happens to be in Philadelphia... I would be the director of marketing and circulation for a relatively decent-sized newspaper ... at the age of 24. It's very tempting - I've been told by both Man and Woman Boss I have a good shot in getting it. I figure that I might as well throw myself into consideration and let fate take its course.

This brings so many questions along with it - do I want to move? If I am considering moving away from here, why don't I just move home to CT? Will I be happy moving to a city where I don't know anyone? Can I handle the responsibility of managing a team of at least five people who will undoubtedly be older than myself? It would definitely be more bank, more responsibility, an unbelievable career move and I would get an office. My own decent-sized office! My current cube doesn't even have walls. I'm not sure what I would do with myself. Probably start the tradition of a 3 p.m. daily dance party with the door shut. Hmmm, perhaps this is why people my age don't get the privilege of having their own offices...

The cost of living is a lot lower there. I could have an entire one-bedroom apartment all to myself for the same amount that I currently pay in rent to share a two-bedroom. I guarantee I would drive less during the week and pay less for parking.

Bah.

Rested.

It's amazing what 13 hours of sleep can do to bring you back to normalcy (or at least, your pre-massive sleep deprivation state). I managed to nap from 2:30 until 6:30 p.m.. Woke up. Did a bit of shopping (had to reward myself somehow for a job well done), came home, watched TV and then went to sleep. I woke up this morning rested. I forgot how long it had been since I have awoke rested. No cursing at the alarm clock, no contemplation of calling in sick to work, no regrets about staying up late to watch that Law & Order rerun. I was awake and happy about it. What a novel idea.

So while the bags under my eyes are still large enough to substitute for my luggage, I'm feeling much better. And it sure is a good thing since I am off to WMZQ Fest for the day (i.e. drinking in the sun).

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I am headed out to the Ritz in Tysons again next week, but this time for a gratis massage at the spa. At least that's something to look forward to next week.

Time to go buy beer.

I live. Albeit, just barely.

I'm not really sure where to begin. I'm sitting on the couch, MY couch for the first time since Monday night. I feel like I have been in a time-warp. The past four days have been an absolute blur. Three events (totalling 1200 attendees), three resulting stays in three different hotels, 20 hour work days. Bleh.

I honestly wasn't sure if I would survive the week with 1) my hair, 2) my sanity or 3) my job. I'm happy to report that my sanity remains virtually intact, my hair is still there and I am now the most favoritest of favorite employees of Man and Woman Boss ever.

I nailed it. Every event went off without a hitch. And I just can't believe it. I'm not normally a pessimist, though I do like to remain realistic, so I had prepared myself for the worst. Let's just say I am utterly shocked that it turned out to be the best.

Tuesday night I stayed in the most amazing room ever at the Ritz downtown. It had a hallway, a soak tube, steam shower and brace yourself, a China cabinet. Yes, a hotel room with an honest-to-God China cabinet. Apparently, this room usually goes for 700 smackers a night. I don't believe I will ever find myself in such nice accomodations again so I made sure to take advantage of it. Last night's stay at yet another Ritz was lovely (minus the whole three hours of sleep thing). I took pictures of both rooms in hope of making you all jealous. Unfortunately, the pictures don't do the rooms justice so I will have to leave it all to your imaginations.

I'm sure there were lots of funny stories that I could impart on you all from my horrid week. However, I can't recall any at the moment. We'll see if any come back to me. And with that, I'm hitting the hay at 2 in the afternoon.

I don't deal well with bitches

or ingrates or people who use others for their own benefit. I don't care for the people who don't care how many people they trample on their way to the top - it doesn't matter how many people are beaten - battered - taken advantage of - as long as they reach that treasured peak.

I deal with a lot of people on a regular basis through my job. A lot of these people are "important" - they hold positions of power - are well-known in the community - exude success - have fame - sometimes notoriety - most are very wealthy. A lot of these people are some of the kindest, most humble and genuine folks you'll find in this area. Others? Not-so-much.

Imaginary.Grownup and I were discussing this situation tonight. It seems obvious that the former folks would meet such great success. It's the latter who are most puzzling. How do they treat people so poorly and still ascend to such high levels of success? There is a famous quote that, in a nutshell, says that one's character is shown in the way that they treat people who can do nothing for them. To go along with that, many people say that one's character is evident in the way that they treat a waiter. I am a firm believer in that.

So how do these horrid, inconsiderate and rude people not only get by in life, but succeed? My belief in karma and the fact that we reap what we sow makes me believe that they will get their revenge in turn. It's what I have to believe in to survive the verbal attacks, rudeness and disrespect that these people show me in my daily life.

If anything, it shows me that when I (hopefully) find myself in their position of power years from now, I will remember the lessons learned in these encounters. And I will treat all these people with the respect and dignity that they inherently deserve.

With that, I managed to stand up for myself at work tonight to Man Boss and Advertising Director. I told them that I was sick and tired of a certain sales rep trying to take advantage of me without any appreciation for what I do for her. I'm not sure how well it was heard and whether this conversation will make any difference. I am just happy that I was confident enough to have it and finally realized how gravely I was being mistreated by this "peer" of mine. And quite honestly, seeing how much I do for this ungrateful lady each day, the bitch is in for a rude awakening.

Just call me the f-bomber

So I have determined that my job makes me manic depressive. At times, I enjoy it, the people are fun and we laugh a lot. Other times, it sends me into a rage and I feel like I will explode. Like physically explode into a mist of anger and hostility, complete with foot stomping and expletives flying (side note: my cube mate now calls me "the f-bomber"). The latter is usually in response to a dumb person doing something dumb that ends up 1) making my job more difficult or 2) making my job more difficult than it really needs to be. Right now I am a few phone calls or emails away from the anger mist.

I have eight days left of hell, i.e. my current job. Or at least, that is both what I keep telling myself and being told. Only eight days. Pfft. Three of these days include events - early morning events of the waking up at 4 a.m. variety, that is, after I was up until 1 or 2 doing things in preparation for said event. And then, during that 2 - 3 hour window - I lay with one eye open and fixed on the alarm clock so that I don't oversleep. And the best part - I get to do this three whole days in a row. And you wonder why I don't like my job?

What's so funny is that, when these events were being scheduled, I attempted to raise the almighty red flag. I tried to them that it was pure sadism to expect someone to run three events in a row. Three early morning breakfast events in a row. That expecting this person to spend three nights in three different hotels is asking a bit much. But yet, somehow, no one listened. What's funny is that these same people who refused to change the dates of these events now openly remark about how insane it is for us to have three events in a row. What isn't funny is how much I need to restrain myself from punching them. At times like these, I kinda wish I had a family so I could pull the kid card. No, no, I can't work an 18 hour day because I have three wee ones at home to take care of. I guess you guys will have to reschedule. No, no, instead they know that they can take advantage of me and my pathetically single status. And the absolute worst part - I don't get any overtime. BAH.

I might die next week. Seriously, it's not going to be pretty. Two of my three hotel stays are in Ritz-Carlton hotels - 22nd Street and Tysons. And you know what, I would give anything to be able to spend those two nights in the comfort of my own bed - waking up at the decent hour of 7 a.m. and leisurely making my way into work. But instead, I will spend a few meager hours in the most comfortable beds I will ever inhabit - wake up when some of my friends are going to bed - and set up for three sizeable events all by myself in the moonlight. But, I guess if I have to die young, at least it will be in the comfort of 800 percale count sheets.

Gah. Simply gah.

So I made an old lady cry today. Or at least, all bets are on the fact that the old lady cried because I didn't invite her to lunch. That's right - a 67 year-old lady actually shed tears because my sorry ass didn't ask her to come along for some queso and fajitas at Don Pablos. I didn't realize my company was so exclusive, or sought after for that matter. I'm feeling quite honored actually.

We don't have confirmation yet but it seems likely. I guess it doesn't matter that I invited her once last week, not to mention this past Monday to go to lunch, and she declined both offers. There's also the fact that she has NEVER invited ME to lunch, but, I guess those standards are seeing double. Or wait, we could just consider that she is eligible for social security but is acting like a second grader who doesn't want to wait their turn for the monkey bars. Or, my personal favorite - I'm an adult and can spend my lunch hour with whomever I please.

Jesus Christ. I'm a nice person. Really, I am. I would never go out of my way to hurt someone or make them feel excluded. But this lady, she complains. ALL THE TIME. About everything. No food is ever satisfactory, even the kind that is free. Once, I shit you not, she complained at a restaurant because her meat was not done enough, sent it back, and then refused to eat it because it was too tough, too well done. I can't imagine why I would not want to spend my one hour of freedom each workday with someone as easygoing as this. I mean, really, I must just be a heartless bitch.

And lastly, she's the one that told me that I "used to be so much fun." Um, excuse me lady, but you know what, you've never been any fun. I actually do WORK at work. I don't spend my time annoying the hell out of my sons and unfortunate daughter-in-law, surfing eBay for obscure commemorative clown plate collections from the 1960s and reading blogs about "Smart Water."

Gah. I'm so annoyed. The things you don't sign up for when you get a job.

Oh yeah, and as a final note: apparently I deal with so much shit at work that I actually received a janitorial supply catalogue in the mail tonight. Sweet.